When our first baby was born and we were attention a family reunion, my husband was holding our baby girl. She didn’t want to go with anyone else besides her father. Another couple was there and they told my husband: “Hold her now because when she grows she won’t even to talk to you”
My husband agreed with some kind of sadness.
I was very surprised and asked: “Why should that happen? I love my father very much and have never thought about life without him. Why do you say she would not want to talk to her father?”
Everyone replied at once: “That’s the way things happen in Japan.”
I responded: “Well, then maybe you should change that. It is not a natural come out if you are a loving and present father.”
My husband’s face brightened and he said: “I will do my best so when she grows she talks of me the way you talk of your father.”
At this age a lot of Japanese people think it is so strange that our children still come visit us and travel together when they have an opportunity away from their job and own social activities.
In Mexico this is not strange. I would say it is very common to stay in touch with the family and celebrate birthdays, and special occasions together. It is a natural thing to introduce friends, boy friends, girl friends to the family without any big issues.
Now Valentine’s is approaching.
In Japan they have a different way of celebrating. Girls give chocolates to the boys they like. If the boy likes the girl, he gives back cookies the next month (March 14th).
When my son was in elementary school he would receive chocolates from different girls. I thought it was not nice to keep a girl waiting so long wondering if she did right ir not. So, I would take him to their houses after school to give the girls something thanking their good heart on the same Valentine’s day.
I felt it was a very man entered tradition.
Basically business centered, but if we analize it, that unconsciously makes them think they are to be treated as the shogun. Hahaha
Lately I had the opportunity to talk with a person who asked me my opinion on why Mexico could have so much participation of women in the government.
I told her it all comes from the way we are raised. Valentine is only one example. When I was young I remember in college it was the day when we (girls) would receive flowers and serenatas (songs sang by mariachi bands as a present).
I think that if we want to have a good relationship with people we have to nurture that relationship. We cannot take things for granted.
Like being the father doesn’t mean that the children will love unconditionally no matter what he does, when we appreciate a person we have to nurture the connection.
Still early, but
Happy Valentine’s!!!
Fantastiqueeerr 